Flappy Alters
by Queen Of The Waffles
Summary: Mike has promised Mal one hour in control, but there is a catch. He cannot leave Mike's bedroom. Out of boredom he picks up Mike's phone and breaks into it and that was how it started. That was how Mal discovered the true meaning of torture. R&R Please


"Jump! Jump! OH MY GOD REALLY!" Mal screamed and tossed Mike's iPhone on the bed. It was his turn in control for the week, but Mike had set limits as to what he could do as he had a pretty long history of being... Malevolent.

So out of boredom he decided to play on Mike's new iPhone. And bloody hell, it was so easy getting in, I mean, anyone who knows him could have guessed his passcode, "Zoey". Mal noticed Mike had no decent apps, so chose one at random. And this is how he got onto Flappy Bird.

Mike's highest score was 33  
but Mal was determined to beat it.

But he couldn't get higher than 15!

Mal tried again. Jump, jump, jump... And dead.

"WHY CANT I STOP!" Mal yelled clutching his head.

"Because your an idiot?" Manitoba suggested from inside the mind. Mal growled at him.

"When I get in there, someone remind me to kick his ass..." Mal mumbled.

"Nah, no one do it. Just to piss him off further." Vito chuckled.

"I hate you all... Peons."

With that, Mal began to play again. After 23 failed attempts Svetlana spoke up.

"Can Svetlana have a try?" She asked Mal. Mal thought about this.

"Fine. But I get to come out in your next turn." He told her and she accepted. Mal gasped and out came our favorite Swedish gymnast.

"Svetlana shall defeat zis birdie!" She said, determination in her eyes.

"Tap the bird..." She mumbled as she started playing. She didn't tap it and it fell to the ground.

"DAMMIT!" She yelled. And tried again.

"Tap... Tap... Tap..." She chanted. Then she saw the pipe.  
"GAH!" And the bird fell down.

~ 53 failed attempts later ~

"C'mon Svetlana can do zis." The weary eyed gymnast said as she started up the game for the 54th time. Vito and Mal watched eagerly as Manitoba got bored and walked off to find Mike and Chester.

"Tap... Tap... Tap... TAP YES SVETLANA HAS DONE IT!" She screamed. Only to then see there was another pipe. The bird fell as she screamed. The high score screen came up and told her her high score was one.

Mikes high score was 33.

"Ey yo, lemme have a go!" Vito said. Svetlana sighed and let go of control. A second later she appeared in the mind beside Mal who was laughing at her.

"Bite me." She spat and he came closer to her. Svetlana's eyes shot up.

"SVETLANA DIDNT MEAN LITRALLY!" She screamed. That only made Mal laugh harder.

"Svetlana hates you." She said simply. Mal bowed.

"I try my hardest." He replied.

"Ey yo, how do you play?" Vito asked as the two facepalmed.

xoxoxo

Mike sat on a brain chair reading when Manitoba came over.

"Hey Manitoba!" Mike greeted.

"Hey mate." He said taking a seat next to him.

"What are the others doing? And what's Mal doing?" He asked.

"Well Vito's in control and Mal and Svetlana are trying to teach him to play that bird game on ya phone. They failed themselves at it though. Funny stuff." Manitoba explained, laughing at the end.

Mike's eyebrows shot up in worry.

"They are playing Flappy Bird?" He asked.

"Yeah, that's what it's called." Manitoba said.

"And Mal is playing."

"Not at this point in time."

"Svetlana is playing."

"Did you not even listen to me?"

"Vito is playing."

"Hey ya actually did listen."

"I'm not gonna have a phone by the end of this..." Mike sighed.

xoxoxo

Mal and Svetlana cheered as Vito FINALLY made the bird fly.

Now he needed to get through the pipe...

"Why am I wasting my time with this?" Mal asked annoyed. "It's MY time in control and I'm giving it to you peons!"

"Your enjoying zit!" Svetlana said pointing a finger at the malevolent personality. He growled at her in response and she gave out a yelp.

After Vito failed - Again - Mal seized control. Much to Vito's protest.

"Hey! Ze didn't agree to get take ze control off him yet." Svetlana called. Mal shrugged.

"He was annoying you too. You know it." Mal said to her. She laughed nervously as Vito raised an eyebrow at her.

"Maybe..."

Mike's mother banged at his door. "Mike! What's with all the noise!" She yelled but when Mal didn't answer she opened the door herself and walked in. When she saw who was in control she let out a scream.

"Whaaaaaaat?" Mal asked. "Is there something on my face?"

"Where is Mike?" She demanded lifting a gymnastics trophy Svetlana won a couple months back over her head.

"Hm... Somewhere." Mal shrugs. "Trust me. I'm being a good boy." He says with a sulk.

Mike's mother raised an eyebrow.

"I'm watching you." She growled. "You do anything, ANYTHING, to my baby your gonna get it." Mal's eyes widened. He thought of a time when Zoey went commando at him when he popped up on a date Mike and her were having. He had been scared. HIM SCARED! He was hoping Mike's mother didn't snap as far as Mike's girlfriend had. She carefully put down Svetlana's trophy and walked out of the room.

Mal sighed and turned back to the game and chuckled. "Pathetic peons can't get past the first pipe." He then continued to play.

Within the next 10 minutes Mal had thrown the phone at a wall.

"MAL!" Svetlana screeched. "THAT'S MIKE'S IPHONE! IT'Z EXPENZIVE!" Mal's eyes widened. Zoey had given that to Mike for his birthday. Mal knew if Zoey found out he had broken out he'd be screwed. He didn't enjoy Zoey's commando side. He scrambled over to the wall which he had thrown it at. Luckily Mike being the dork he was had put a thick leather wallet like case on it and Mal had done no damage.

He breathed a sigh of relief and went back on the game. Then Vito came out again.

"VITO!" Mal screamed.

~With Mike & Manitoba~

Mike who was freaking out about his phone and Manitoba who was comforting him stopped.

"Did you hear that?" Manitoba asked.

"Yes." Mike replied but the two shrugged and continued.

"Seriously! Just take control!" Manitoba said for the 300th time

"I CAN'T!" Mike yelled.

"WHY!?" Manitoba yelled back.

"BECAUSE IT'S MAL'S TURN FOR ANOTHER HOUR! AND I SWORE I WOULDN'T TAKE CONTROL! OR HE'D TAKE REVENGE!" Mike yelled finally answering the question.

Manitoba fell silent.

"So... Wanna play UNO?"

~With Mal, Vito and Svetlana~

Mal continued to play the horrible game for another 20 minutes. This included cursing and taking a small break to calm down by taking selfies.

"Ey yo, How long has he got left in control?" Vito asked Svetlana.

"About twenty minutes." Svetlana sighed. Vito sat down and made a hand ball out of brain matter and kept himself distracted by tossing it at a wall. And everytime it touched both the ground and the wall it would make a PLOP sound.

Plop.

Plop.

Plop.

Plop.

Mal tried to block Vito out but was failing.

Plop

Plop

Plop

Plop

Plop

"C'mon Mal, He's a pathetic peon. Don't let him get to you."

Plop

Plop

Plop

Plop

Plo-

"STOP! JUST STOP IT!" Mal yelled but in the process dropped the iPhone on the ground.

Screen first.

On Mike's SOFT carpet.

He picked it up and slowly looked at the screen.

It was smashed.

Like not just a little, it was SMASHED. Someone would think ya hit it with a hammer.

"SON OF A BITCH!" Mal screamed. He then noticed that his bird had died, he looked at his score.

32.

Mike's highest was 33.

Mal fell to his knees and screamed "NOOOOOOOOOO!"

~With Mike and Manitoba~

Mike and Manitoba were in a heated game of UNO. Mike was down to 3 cards and Manitoba on 2. Mike looked at the card on top of the pile.

3 Red.

He had no 3's but he had a Draw 2 card in red. A devilish grin appeared on his face as he lashed it out. He waited for Manitoba to be shocked but he only laughed.

"What's so funny?" Mike asked. Manitoba then replied through giggles.

"Your gonna regret doing that dingo."

Manitoba then pulled out a Draw 4 card.

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" Came a distant scream.

"Mate it wasn't that bad. Ya can still get me back." Manitoba said thinking it was Mike.

"That wasn't me..." The two exchanged nervous glances and ran over to Svetlana and Vito.

"What happened Sheila?" Manitoba asked Svetlana.

"Look for yourself." She said pointing to the mirror that let them see into the world of the person in control. They gasped.

"My... My... Pho...ph...phon-" Mike stuttered and fainted in mid-sentence.

"Well... Mal's dead." Vito said.

"Why?" Manitoba asked.

"Look who just walked in."

Mal laid on the floor clutching Mike's phone to his chest.

"I can fix this. I can fix this." He muttered to himself. He had a history of breaking electronics. But the one day he tried his hardest not to. It was the most severe.

"You can fix what?" Zoey asked walking in. Mal gasped and felt as though he was having a heart attack.

"Oh its you." Zoey said upon seeing who was in charge of the body. Mal gave a weak smile.

"Yeah... Long time no see?"

"What'd you do to Mike." She demanded.

"NOTHING!" Mal yelled a little to defensively. Zoey raised her eyebrows.

"What's in your hand?" She asked when she saw the sun's rays glowing through the window reflecting on whatever was in his hand.

"Nothing!"

"Mal." Zoey said sternly.

"Nothing I swear!" Mal said sweating nervously.

"Show me your hands."Zoey commanded. Mal gulped and did as she said.

"Please tell me that is not Mike's new phone." Zoey groaned.

"It is..."

Zoey grew angry.

"SERIOUSLY! WHAT'D MIKE EVER DO TO YOU?!" She demanded. Mal sweat even more.

"I swear to god this isn't what it looks like!" Mal protested.

"When ya say that, it makes ya sound like ya fucked his phone." Vito laughed. "Ah the fun ya can have with phones..." The others just stood and stared at him with confused expressions.

"Um not that I would know, I haven't fucked a phone or anything..." Vito said sheepishly while blushing widely.

"Svetlana has never been more creeped out zin her life!"

"Shut the fuck up!" Mal hissed to the alters.

"Excuse me!" Zoey yelled.

"I DIDN'T SAY THAT TO YOU I SWEAR!" Mal cried.

"Let. Mike. In. Control. Now." Zoey demanded. Mal did as she said and inhaled deeply. As soon as he was out he dropped the phone.

"Mike isn't it smashed enough?" Zoey sighed. Mike stared at her.

"After hearing certain things, I don't WANT to touch it." Mike told her. He quickly got a plastic bag and picked the phone up with his pointer finger and thumb and tossed it in. Once in he smashed the phone a bit more by smashing the bag against the wall.

"MIKE!" Zoey yelled.

"I DIDN'T FUCK A PHONE!" Vito yelled from inside the mind. "Well... Your phone anyway..." The others gave him weird looks.

"Did you fuck one to Siri's voice or something?" Mal asked sarcastically.

"No..." Vito lied.

"Oh my god I'm never going to be the same again." Manitoba said exasperated and walked away.

Mike looked at the bag. "At least no one will get my details.." He chuckled.

"You do realize how much they cost right?" Zoey asked placing a hand on her hip. "What even happened?"

"Let's just say the next time Vito or Mal are in control I'm hiding my phone."

"Okay..." Zoey said slightly creeped out.

"Tell me about it." Mike said feeling the same way.

"So... Wanna see a movie?" Zoey asked.

"Yes!" Mike said enthusiastically. "Anything to forget what happened in the last hour." Zoey laughed. "It can't be that bad."

"Worse." Mike warned her. Zoey then took his hand and dragged him out the door. When they were in her car outside Mike asked.

"Do you have your phone?"

"Yeah why?" Zoey asked.

"Hide it and I'll close my eyes." Mike said. Zoey laughed but did it anyway.

"Well Vito, your never gonna live that down." Mal said to the ego centric alter.

"Says the guy who STILL can't beat Mike's Flappy Bird score." Vito retorted.

"Yeah but as his phone is gone, so is the high score." Mal pointed out.

"Damn..." Vito sighed.

xoxoxoxo

**Weird ending I know. Trust me, I have no fucking clue either. To see more things about Vito fucking random objects check my Tumblr which is fruitshipping-queen and yeah. This wasn't one of my best fics I know but I literally just wrote it down and posted it. No editing or tweaking. Just wrote and post. So don't judge. R&R please :)**

**~Jay~ xoxo**


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